Selections from the Book
Reading Group Guide

"Do you know what I do when I leave my parents' apartment? You must never say another word about this, but I get into my car, roll up all the windows and I scream." So says the author's cousin, speaking with self-aware humor of the difficulties faced by a grown child at the end of her parents' lives.

Phantom Limb, a story of a family across generations, is a book for anyone going through the last years and loss of their parents -- or, indeed, any great loss that survives in memory.

The book takes its title from the situation of the author's mother who, having lost a leg, continued to feel pain as though the leg were still present. The author suggests we all have the condition of phantom limb: someone no longer with us remains a part of us. The question is: do we hold the memories, or try to rid ourselves of painful phantoms?

Phantom Limb is a book in which ordinary people live through critical tests of body and spirit. When she learned her daughter had cancer, Sternburg's mother said, "I am a lioness and you are my cub." Years later, successfully recovered, Sternburg sets out to help her mother's pain. Along the way, she uncovers new thinking about the relationship of mind to body, about the nature of memory and the of the brain. A poignant story of discovering the depth of love between grown child and parent, Phantom Limb provides a structure for life choices. In its resolution, the book offers a vision that links us all in the struggle to make peace with the physical and emotional phantoms of the past.

Phantom Limb charts a journey every adult must make.


"At a time when many people are writing and publishing memoirs, Sternburg's Phantom Limb (University of Nebraska Press) is uncommon. The book is a meditation on memory. The author experiences difficulties and writes about them, but she does so without a sense of victimhood or self-pity. Instead, she tells a tender story of the expansiveness of love."
- The Jewish Week


"This is a memoir for anyone who has suffered a significant loss . . . compassionate, painful, and joyful. . . "
- Library Journal


'Feelings shared by countless others . . . The author movingly recalls her great sense of bereavement after her mother died, the loss of treasured rituals of association -- phone calls, conversations about new curtains or a picture. . . luminously detailed recollections . . . moments of consoling happiness."
- Kirkus


"Sternburg discovers that her search for consolation involves an acceptance of the pain of loss . . . the very scarcity and unreliability of our memories makes them precious."
-LA Times Book Review


". . . part moving account of greater love in the face of her mother's approaching death, part medical inquiry into neurology, and part spiritual meditation on the struggles and sufferings that living visits on each of us. Sternburg shows that emotional and spiritual integration is possible . . ."
- BookList


"Janet Sternburg uses her book, Phantom Limb, as the springboard for a medical, metaphorical and spiritual meditation on the loss of a loved one."
- KCRW, "Politics of Culture"


"A haunting memoir- a poem of remembered pain -- an absence that becomes in the telling an unforgettable presence. I am undone by this book."
-Elizabeth Forsythe Hailey,
author of A Woman of Independent Means


"Janet Sternburg has found the perfect metaphor for the tragedy of pain and loss, the ultimate inevitabilities of life."
- Bill Moyers,
broadcast journalist; editor Healing and the Mind


"When I first read Phantom Limb some months ago, it moved me deeply. It is evocative, raw, absolutely genuine and original and I was stunned that the author had the courage to share so much of herself."
- Harvard Bookstore (PW Bookstore of the Year) Nancy Fish, Marketing Manager